Wednesday, July 28, 2010
So, I'm now off the anti-depressants, which seems contradictory consider how much I have to be depressed about (mother dying, fiance leaving) so I was looking for some natural remedies for anxiety attacks. I was mostly looking for herbal supplements and such but for some reason I plugged "catholic remedies for depression" into the search engine and got this site. Lots of interesting and useful information here; of course I balk when someone tells me I have to give up my diet Coke. The cure for depression is apparently: not enjoying anything, ever. (I know that's not what he's about). Being a Christian isn't easy; we want what we want when we want it. But, not what I want but what He wants. Jesus suffered and died on the cross for us, to save us. How will we repay Him? I balk at asceticism and austerities. It leads me to be a sourpuss and what's worse than a sourpuss Christian? Ugh. St Teresa of Avila said something like "God, save me from gloomy saints!". Anyway, back to this site. The author also seems to imply that if you don't follow his spiritual counsels, well, then, you just don't love God you lazy sinner. And it's all your parents fault. They don't love you. It's why you're such a screw-up. Then of course there's the standard "If you don't like this then that just proves how little you love God and how much you love yourself" like saying the first symptom of alcoholism is denial even if someone doesn't drink, if you deny it, then that means you must be an alcoholic. Now I'm just rambling. I know what he's trying to say; it just rubs me the wrong way. Instead of easing into a holier life, he wants you to jump in the deep end. For me this would just cause a burn-out and a not sincere conversion. I would focus too much on all the exterior practices and then the "hey look at me! I'm HOLY!" would come out. That smugness that comes with knowing you won't go to hell. And I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what he's trying to do here.