Dress Dare 2011 progress

Day 4 (May the fourth be with you... if I hear that one more time I'll puke). Every day I've worn a dress. I've been lucky with the weather, not too hot and not too cold. I like wearing a dress because it's just so easy to slip on; no worrying about coordinating tops and bottoms. I don't feel particularly feminine or modest. In fact it seems to be working against any sense of humility, as in "Hey! I look pretty dang good!" But, I'll keep plugging away.

Been a While

I customized this card adding his name

Wow, lots of stuff have happened that I just didn't have the heart to blog about. But maybe I will get back in the swing of things: Advent is over; Lent is over but now it is the Glorious Easter-tide Season! He Is Risen! He is Risen Indeed. Also, this Sunday is two-fold in importance:  My precious James receives his First Holy Communion AND it is also Divine Mercy Sunday! Thanks Be to God! We are all looking with joy towards this mementos occasion. I even printed up a homemade Prayer card for James, with a picture of a boy receiving from Jesus His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity and there is also an image of Our Lord as He appears on the Divine Mercy image. James LOVED this because he loves the Divine Mercy. He wants to go to Confession on Saturday so his soul can be "squeaky clean" (love it!). Such a wonderfully pious child! I plan on adding the prayer on the back tomorrow which will read:

My Jesus, I believe that You are truly Present in the Most Blessed Sacrament. I love you above all things and I desire to possess You within my soul. I believe because You have said it and I am ready to give my life to maintain this Truth. 

 And of course the date and Parish he receive. We've been practicing Communion on the Tongue since the CCD only taught about CITH (!) I reminded him in THIS family we receive on the tongue out of respect for our Lord. I also had to read over some instruction the DRE wrote up and she continually referred to the Blessed Sacrament as "bread". GAH! Parents, we MUST be vigilant in seeing to the Religious Ed of our children ESPECIALLY at your typical Novus Ordo (Ordinary Form).  I even had to explain what a mortal sin was and how we should always strive to never, ever commit one and if have the misfortune of doing so to present ourselves to the Confession as soon as possible! But more importantly how receiving Our Lord is the best remedy to avoid sin. This is the child, who at 4, on a Ash Wednesday service, which was packed to the gills, including the Governor of our State, when not given a Host, loudly protested by wailing loudly "I WANT THE BODY OF PRIST!" (mispronounced "Christ"). Funny now but at the time I felt horrible, my poor child wanted Our Lord!

And so ends my update. I love that from now on all 3 of us will be able to kneel at the Altar Rail and receive Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament! So many graces!

A Neat and Tidy Home

It's been awhile since I've posted. A lot of changes. I finally got my home back into working order. Getting rid of that extra 180 lbs of useless meat (i.e. ex-finance) helped tremendously. Some people are just "psychic vampires" and he fits that to a T. Draining the psyche of all energy and motivation and yet gives nothing in return except a vague feeling of being wanted. But when it comes down to the nitty-gritty; when Love demands more than platitudes and vague promises of devotion, the psychic vampire flees and hides and blames his victim for her needs. Cleaning has been cathartic for me as well as practical. It became messy because of my depression but then the mess added to my depression. A vicious cycle.

Interesting Website

So, I'm now off the anti-depressants, which seems contradictory consider how much I have to be depressed about (mother dying, fiance leaving) so I was looking for some natural remedies for anxiety attacks. I was mostly looking for herbal supplements and such but for some reason I plugged "catholic remedies for depression" into the search engine and got this site. Lots of interesting and useful information here; of course I balk when someone tells me I have to give up my diet Coke. The cure for depression is apparently: not enjoying anything, ever. (I know that's not what he's about). Being a Christian isn't easy; we want what we want when we want it. But, not what I want but what He wants. Jesus suffered and died on the cross for us, to save us. How will we repay Him? I balk at asceticism and austerities. It leads me to be a sourpuss and what's worse than a sourpuss Christian? Ugh. St Teresa of Avila said something like "God, save me from gloomy saints!". Anyway, back to this site. The author also seems to imply that if you don't follow his spiritual counsels, well, then, you just don't love God you lazy sinner. And it's all your parents fault. They don't love you. It's why you're such a screw-up. Then of course there's the standard "If you don't like this then that just proves how little you love God and how much you love yourself" like saying the first symptom of alcoholism is denial even if someone doesn't drink, if you deny it, then that means you must be an alcoholic. Now I'm just rambling. I know what he's trying to say; it just rubs me the wrong way. Instead of easing into a holier life, he wants you to jump in the deep end. For me this would just cause a burn-out and a not sincere conversion. I would focus too much on all the exterior practices and then the "hey look at me! I'm HOLY!" would come out. That smugness that comes with knowing you won't go to hell. And I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what he's trying to do here.

Something HAS to be done

After a week of one disaster after another (car dying, glasses frames broken, reduction in Child Support) the mess in the apartment is too much. I need something better than FlyLady. I cannot stand all the freaking emails. It worked for me for awhile until she started with all the "testimonals" (a/k/a "commercials") for her products. And it felt like I was constantly picking up; and I only had the 2 kids then. My main problem as my Dearest has pointed out: my irregular sleep schedule. SO. I decided to create ONE new habit for the next 21 days: go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am no matter what day of the week or if it's a James week or not. (Incidently this is his last week of school, and it's a Daddy week). I even set the alarm on my Palm to remind me to go to bed. And then: BABYKINS. Cry cry cry, fuss fuss fuss. Cry and fuss, fuss and cry. Cruss and Fye. So here it is, almost 1 am and I'm still up. Farming. Reading other blogs. Procrastinating going to bed. And now I'm peckish and keep thinking about the pita bread and hummus I bought today....